If you ever hear this word shouted at you in a panicky, possibly high-pitched voice, drop the Final Fantasy game you're undoubtedly holding and flee the general vicinity. Otherwise you run the risk of being trampled by a herd of these not-quite-people, and if their feet don't kill you, their squealing will surely burst your eardrums and cause brain damage.

It is unsure when the first fangirls evolved (or perhaps "devolved" is a better term -- fangirlism isn't exactly a step up for humanity). This is so for two reasons: girls, by nature, aren't usually open about their video game habits; and the appearance of fangirls is like the appearance of mold on your cake -- you don't know when exactly it got there, but you don't notice it until you've raised your fork to your mouth, and you can't catch yourself in time to stop eating it, so you suddenly feel very ill. And there's nothing you can do about it. Your cake is forever moldy; fangirls are forever here.

Despite the lack of any evidence, it can logically be concluded that fangirls first appeared around the time that video games started getting decent graphics. This makes sense if you consider that most fangirls have very superficial obsessions -- in other words, most fangirls only care about the fact that This Male Character is H4WT. The most classic example of this is the infamous Final Fantasy VII and the vast number of fangirls that drooled over Cloud, Vincent Valentine, and Sephiroth.

Typical fangirl behavior is quite easy to identify. Their brains are so overloaded with glee (and usually arousal) upon seeing their preferred character that they lose the ability to speak in complete or coherent sentences. Fangirls are also very territorial and possessive -- spasmic mutterings of such phrases as "Tifa can't have him" are a telling symptom of fangirlism. Fangirlism also causes the loss of some cognitive functions, i.e. recognizing when their theory about how Sephiroth and Cloud are secretly a couple is boring their audience to tears/death. Fangirls are also surprisingly long-winded; they can talk about their love for Squall longer than the half-life of carbon.

Another notable sympton of the fangirlite is violence. To accurately show you the mayhem capable of the fearsome beasts, it must be role-played (the terrible irony...)

Fangirl: *humming One Winged Angel*

U.S.A. Marine: Jesus Christ, girl, I played that game before I shipped out for the war, and let me tell you something, it sucks, hard.

Fangirl: *eyebrow twitch, the sun darkens*

Marine: Wha-How the **** did tha-*muffled scream as thousands of fangirls descend upon him with their homemade Masamunes' and gunswords*

Fangirl: *sky brightens, fangirl skips away, singing vocal tune from FFVIII*

'Tis a vicious occurrence, but there is one solution, so listen carefully! You mus-*sun darkens* Rut ro. *Dead'd*

*new announcer stumbles forward, as a note is pinned to the wall with an oversized, rather impractical sword* Yes, yes, I won't tell them your secrets, just don't harm my boy, if you give him spiky hair at his age he'll be ruined for life! *notices reader* Er, uh, ahem.

It should be noted that Final Fantasy games are not the only games that can induce fangirlism. In fact, most of today's RPGs, considering that they always star generic, sword-toting badass heroes, are candidates for causing a massive outbreak of fangirlism.

Fangirls do have their uses in society, however. They provide much of the market for video game-themed yaoi. They also... well, that's about it. They have no other use. If they weren't all perverts, they'd be nothing but a blight on the population of video game players.

Is there a cure for fangirlism? The short answer is, unfortunately, no. Once a fangirl has latched onto a character, she has the grip of an angry bulldog. No amount of persuasion can convince a fangirl to release her hold on her chosen character. However, she will move on if she finds a more desirable target, but this is not so much a cure as it is a passing along of the disease.

(Picture taken from DeviantART.)